The sad thing is I am no stranger to being bullied. It happened when I was in grade school and it still happens in college. And you know what? It’s probably going to happen the rest of my life. Being younger I never understood how people could be so mean. What even is a bully? Trust me I learned quick. Being bullied at a young age really changed my perspective and outlook on life. I definitely am a way kinder person today because of what I have gone through.
I was bullied some in elementary school but, I don’t remember too much of that. At the time I just thought it was people being mean, I didn’t understand in fact I was actually being bullied. It wasn’t until junior high when I truly realized what bullies are. In junior high, my Dad’s disease became more apparent, so being young and insecure, I felt the need to try and hide it. With a dad who is “different” I knew I would get made fun of. Which when you are 12 and your Dad is sick, that’s the last thing I should have to think about.
*If you don’t know the story on my dad, check out my Nobody’s Perfect blog post real quick.*
As you all know (or just read about) my Dad has Parkinson’s Disease and lives in a nursing home. It took me all of junior high and high school to come to terms with the fact that my family isn’t the normal family. I wanted everyone to think I was normal so I tried hard to hide the fact that my dad was sick. I told everyone he was a pilot—which was true—and I told everyone he lived partly in San Diego—because that’s where my Dad grew up and we would visit frequently. Him “living” in San Diego covered up for why he couldn’t make it to all my volleyball games or why he couldn’t come to some things.
Instead of kids living their own lives, some kids decided to pick on me because of it. And thus I learned what cyber bullying was. My 8th grade year of junior high I had some people in my grade make a Facebook page about me. It was titled “The Lies of Cass Cass”. The profile picture was a construction worker standing in front of a sign that said San Diego. Thus hinting I was lying about my Dad. The kids picking on me knew I was trying to cover up the one thing I felt insecure about. So of course being the bullies they are, they exploited it.
One of the girls that helped make this Facebook page also harassed me frequently. It got so bad that one night she texted me over 25 times. Calling me names and putting me down for everything imaginable. I went to school the next day to share the text messages with a teacher, that knew about the bullying. As I was going to show the teacher the texts, one of the mean girl’s friend stole my phone and delete all the text messages off, so I wouldn’t have any proof.
Who in junior high has a sidekick like that? LOL.
Also, how in junior high were kids so capable of being so mean? I will never understand. Of course that is a really condensed version of what happened in junior high this went on for weeks but, it’s enough for you to get an idea of what I went through. I obviously was not the perfect person either, I did try to hide the fact about my Dad. But, being that young I wasn’t strong enough to come to terms with my Dad’s disease.
In high school, my junior and senior year I took a cosmetology class at a different high school campus than mine. Being white, I was actually the minority at that school’s campus and since I tend to be a very “basic white girl”, I was bullied again like no other. Just me not fitting into their norm made me a target. I got made fun of for my backpack, my glasses, my pens and pencils, even down to what I brought for lunch. I would go to my car everyday at lunch and eat or beg the teacher to let me stay in her room classroom and eat. After getting called names and getting made fun of for everything, I ended up showing them all up when I was the first person in the entire class to get my cosmetology license. A whole full month before anyone else.
When I came to college I thought everything would change. I thought college was going to be my best years. And honestly YES IT WAS! I really don’t want to graduate… but, along with college came a whole new set of drama. More drama with boys, intoxicated people, non-compatible roommates, but most recent of all….
This weekend I had such a long day of working on my blog, graduation announcements, cleaning, literally everything under the sun. So I took a nap. I wake up from my nap to a phone call. I NEVER answers numbers I don’t know, but this time it was a Houston area number. So I answered. On the other end of the phone was a very mean sounding man. He was yelling at me that I hit his car and I left my number on his windshield. I tried to calmly explain it wasn’t me. He was then asking for my insurance and getting even madder at me. I didn’t know what to do so I hung up the phone. Feeling so scared that the guy could trace my number to me and then target me, I considered calling the cops.
A couple hours later, after calming down I turned to Instagram and told my stories what happened. I immediately received a text message saying it was a prank from two girls in my sorority. Girls I have done nothing to and just do not like me for one reason or another. The girls were confronted by an authority figure in my sorority and there is still no apology. And trust me I’m not waiting for one.
I will never understand bullying.
The fact that every single time people have gone out of their way to either make a Facebook page, belittle someone, download a voice changer app to make a prank call… It just doesn’t make sense and it never will. There are SO MANY other examples I could give y’all of times I have been bullied. No, the bullying will never stop. Those were just tiny little snippets into my life. I have been bullied in many more instances than what I have shared today. But with me sharing just this little part of my life, I want you to all know that you are not alone. Bullying is NOT RIGHT and you need to stand up for yourself. Tell someone. Make them hear you. The people bullying you have no right to do so. You do not deserve to be bullied. I didn’t deserve a whole Facebook page made about me, I was trying to protect myself and hide the fact my Dad was sick.
Eight years after the fact of me getting bullied in junior high, I received a DM from a guy who helped make the Facebook page. He said he was so sorry for the emotional trials he put me through and he was so sorry it took him so long to apologize. Receiving this message made me realize there is still good in the world. Of course I forgave him instantly, as I had forgiven the incident and left it in junior high. I have been meaning to share my experiences of bullying with y’all for some time now. It’s sad that it took me getting bullied again with a prank call to finally write this post. But, it’s up now to maybe help anyone going through the same thing.
It’s really nice to know that some people can change, but please don’t hold your breath for the rest of the people you have been bullied by. Live your life the way you want to. It’s sad that with any type of success in life you will gain “haters.” But you can insure you are not a hater and instead you send positive energy into the world. Be kind to all and treat everyone with kindness, care and respect. Inspire people to be a better person and be gracious and giving always. You can be the change in the world that you wish to see! In all bad there is good and I truly believe that. You are all more precious and loved then you will ever know. Do not let someone that is rude and insecure about them self dictate how you feel about yourself.